WASHINGTON — SEC Gary Gensler is cracking down on the US Dollar. Gensler stated in a recent press conference that the “so-called USD” is a danger to our fiscal prosperity. Co-presenting at the event was FED chair Jerome Powell who disagreed with Gensler.

The SEC’s position was made clear and it is that with the drastically inflated balance sheet, and with trillions more on the way, that we must find a way to stop this rogue runaway currency.

“The U.S. dollar is actively traded illicitly every day via this pernicious form called cash. Thieves, robbers, and crooks exchange privately for illegal things. It is also used by soccer moms, and priests, and accepted at grocery stores and gas stations.”

A few journalists in the audience raised their hands inquisitively, one Sarah Redford from the Washing Post asked, “Chair Gensler, what can we do to stop this terribly illegal-promoting dollar?” Gensler replied that the only way forward was to eliminate what he called it’s “multi-state existence.”

“The sheer fact that the dollar can be cash, or digital numbers in your bank account is the problem. There must only be one version of it, and then we can delete when we want to.” Gensler coughed and then added, “I mean then we can replenish it when we want to.” Apparently, the buck stops here.

U.S. debt balance sheet is up 2 trillion on the news.

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