LONDON — Craig Wright, who has claimed for years to be Bitcoin’s anonymous creator Satoshi Nakamoto, was dumbfounded recently when the courtroom finally revealed that every person in the room, with the exception of Craig Wright, is actually “Satoshi”. Wright has been involved in legal battles for years in regard to his claim to be Satoshi. Last week, he finally gave up the charade and admitted that he is not Satoshi.

“We know,” said the Judge. “Because I am Satoshi.”

”So am I,” said the bailiff.

”And us,” said the jury.

Everyone inside the courtroom said they were Satoshi (except for Wright, who as previously mentioned, has surrendered on that front), and they began to high-five one another and congratulate themselves on the successful ruse.

“We’ve been waiting for this moment for a LONG time.” The “Judge” then played a video detailing the contribution of every person in the room to the collective group that chose to name themselves “Satoshi”. “Satoshi” is a group consisting of forty-three individuals composed of computer scientists, economists, and philosophers, and a few professors.

In case there was any remaining doubt, a few jury members proceeded to use their laptops to sign a transaction from one of Satoshi’s known addresses.

“None of us are actually lawyers, judges, or any of that,” said Cindy Hoffstader, a distinguished Austrian economist, and one of the forty-three real Satoshis. “But when Craig started going around saying he was Satoshi, we knew we had to get the gang back together and do something. We’ve been waiting for him to finally confess for years, just so that we could do this.”

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