Letter From The Editor

Dearest Eyeballs,

I am pleased to present The Rug’s First Newsletter, your least bad source of crypto news. Take it as an offering, once a month. For many of our stories, we are the only Web3 news outlet reporting on them! How is it that no one else was willing to cover it when Michael Saylor Insists Baskin-Robbins Has Only One Flavor, or how US President Joe Biden Urges Gas Station Operators to “Migrate to Layer 2 Immediately” in a Bid to Stymie Skyrocketing Gas Prices, and of course heroic feats like Solana Goes Full Day With No Down Time?

Our reporters are out there, day after day, breaking news like when OpenSea claimed, “It’s only money laundering if you get caught.”

We’re on the beat, chewing up the world of crypto and placing it through a glass half darkly.

So Frens, Romans, Countrymen, Lend us your eyes! But not World Coin style, we don’t want to scan you. Welcome to The Rug! And…

Do tell a friend.

The Rug is Web3’s mostly credible news source. We take money, seriously.

In practice, The Rug places a satirical lens on crypto-culture. Think "The Onion" for Web3. Our Newsletter publication includes:

The funniest articles
The best jokes/tweets
Behind the scenes podcasts
Throwback newspaper-style NFTs
Much, much less

All of the above we aim to produce on a regular basis, and The Rug’s Newsletter is where you can catch them all in one spot, shipped str8 to your inbox, once a month.

Article Recap

UPDATE — Cardano Announces Plan To Join ETH Merge

With all the fuss about the merge, now scheduled for Sept. 15th, we weren’t surprised to see the team behind Cardano hop on the bandwagon. Check out our article by Redemption Phox on just this very thing. Fun fact: you can collect it on Mirror via Optimism for about $3 worth of ether, and keep it in your cool Mirror Collections.

CULTURE — Life Keeps Getting Better for Web3 Scumbag

In other news, life keeps getting better for Steve Bogan. He basically found a way to virtue signal his way to profitability across every airdrop in the ecosystem. Check out our article by Perchy on this astounding batch of chicanery. Yes, it is that Perchy, the one who makes all those intricate Where’s Waldo-esque Bankless Locations that everybody in BanklessDAO has collected and holds dearly as early-crypto lore.

Headlines Recap

REPORT — With Goerli Success, Ethereum Community Runs Out of Reasons to Delay Merge

Now that the final testnet has merged, it is clear that the Ethereans have run out of excuses for delaying The Merge. Although despite this, we still have to take refuge in the fact that a large amount of the network is wrapped up in a guy that believes in unicorns. This is not a knock. Def bullish unicorns.

SECURITY - Celsius Unveils New Ultra-Hodl Mode

We’re sure you heard about the debacle with Celsius, and how they lent some money to 3AC, but did you know that they have implemented an “Ultra-Hodl” mode, where everyone has to hodl their funds indefinitely? Talk about pro-crypto ethos! CeFi FTW!

BREAKING — Bitcoin Found In Shoebox Outperforms 3AC Portfolio

On that same note, The Rug occasionally gets a prediction or two correct. “50% of the time we’re right every time.” In this instance, Rugstradamus strikes again, The Rug accurately predicted that Bitcoin found in a shoe box would outperform 3AC in May of 2022. As we all know, 3AC went bankrupt in July of 2022, just two months later!

Under The Rug

Under The Rug is a crypto-comedy podcast based on the hardest hitting headlines in Web3. In each episode a rotating cast of the comedians at The Rug get together to chop peanuts, craft jokes, and discuss things semi-crypto comedy related.

Our fourth episode, “Minimum Wage NFT-Trader”, was easily in our Top Five of All Time. We delved into NFTs, Franklin ENS Follies, Haiku, UBI and Biden Gas Tweets, The Evolution of Money, The Idols NFTs, Emoji ENS Names, Minimum Wage NFT Traders, McDonalds Scammers and much much less…

Our third episode, “Mostly Sunny”, was a hit, we discussed subjects as inane as Danny DeVito, Cosmos Network, dYdX, Sunflower-Land, gaming, holding books, bullish English language, Las Vegas, Zhu Su, and much much less…

The Rug Original NFTs

Between Nov of 2021 & March of 2022 The Rug shipped six classically inspired news NFT’s. Half of them are still available. Fun fact: Owning one of these NFT’s gives you access to our Discord. Don’t have one? Just purchase Issue #3, Issue #4, or Issue #5, and then follow this link to join our Discord, accept the rules, and go the #Rug-Crew-Verify channel to prove ownership via Guild.XYZ. Cruise over to our Rug Lounge to crack a joke or share a meme. Hang around with us!

That’s it for August, a month that is also an adjective which means ‘marked by majestic dignity or grandeur’. An auspicious month indicating what we aspire to be. So stay well, dear eyeballs, and if you encounter a bear, think like Leonardo Di’Caprio in The Revenant.

Calls to Action

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Forward this newsletter!

Bonus Content: Crypto Boomer, by Frank America

*The cover image is available as a 1/1 NFT on Zora.