Letter From The Editor

Dear Bull's Eyes,

Well the matador market is back! For a while there, bitcoin stalled as suburban moms moved into big dumb cups, but now a weather alert from the coast guard projects boating accidents will reach an ATH in 2024/25 and boomer parents now own more bitcoin than their kids.

ETH Denver went off without a hitch because Vitalik limited the number of heads who can crash on his floor to fifty. But with the market's heating up, your friend who just accepted buy now advice from six months ago is flummoxed that he's not rich yet.

Plus, SBF is defining modern fashion with his new spring collection, a lot of people got raptured when ETH broke 3K, although now the ETH to 10K crowd might settle for 4K and a hot dog.

In other news investigators are still looking for whoever is called Sybil and why she has been attacked. They have a few leads.

Giddyup.

The Rug | Articles

PREMIUM — Everyone in Courtroom Was Satoshi EXCEPT For Craig Wright

PREMIUM — Craig Wright, who has claimed for years to be Bitcoin’s anonymous creator Satoshi Nakamoto, was dumbfounded recently when the courtroom finally revealed that every person in the room, with the exception of Craig Wright, is actually... [cont. reading]

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Boomer Parents Now Own More Bitcoin Than Their Kids

JACKSONVILLE — It just keeps getting better for Boomers in the wake of the wave of recent Bitcoin ETFs. Baby boomer parents are continuing to show that the tortoise beats the hare and are increasingly surpassing their millennial and Gen Z children in terms of Bitcoin ownership, fueled pretty much entirely by the advent of...[cont. reading]

Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen Consults Ghost of Ben Franklin for Advice on Crypto

WASHINGTON D.C. — Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen communed with the soul of Ben Franklin late Saturday evening for advice on crypto regulation. She reported to be desperate for ideas on how to stop it from... [cont. reading]