# Satoshi Voted Next Speaker of the House *The Rug's Mostly Credible Newsletter #9* By [The Rug](https://therugnews.com) · 2023-01-15 newsletter --- ![](https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/d778c5967b1255231bbd69076e456178.png) Letter From The Editor ---------------------- Dear eye squares, Well January 1st hit and we [can't wait](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1610047381478809601) for 2024. But a few weeks later and we may be in for a bit of a surprise despite the first-cycler who [knew](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1610665306275385344) bitcoin was a scam all along. Speaking of surprises, turns out PoW miners were [discovered](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1613988350599532544) in the Rockies hungry and looking for WiFi, a GOP Congressman [nominated](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1611517524964773888) Satoshi Nakamoto as Speaker of the House, and we [have](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1608984769207111680) a Top 10 New Years resolutions list for your perusal. In other news, 78% of Americans [think](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1613644700094976000) The Fed is a buffet chain, Shaq [finally](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1612544948208812032) started advertising with crypto, Genesis [changed](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1611091088281853979) their name to Termination, and Logan Paul is [still](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1613309898292617218) not worth mentioning. The Rug is kicking off the new year in full form. 295 people have subscribed to our Mirror page. We've reached 188 collected NFTs on Optimism, Twitter is nearing 4K subs, and we [shipped](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1601730481753661440) Episode 8 of **Under The Rug**, which we're 72% [sure](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1611176733054742528) wasn't created by ChatGPT. Not to mention **The Rug Vol. II Issue #2** - our newspaper-style NFT - is fully pressed and ready for release this week. Saddle up. But First, WTF is The Rug Newsletter? ------------------------------------- > The Rug is Web3’s mostly credible news source. We take money, seriously. **The Rug** is web3’s mostly-trusted news source. If NFTs are the future of ownership, we’re the future of satire.  Think _The Onion_, but we actually understand (and like) crypto. Our Newsletter publication includes: * The mostly relevant articles * The hardest hitting headlines * Behind-the-scenes podcasts * Newspaper-style NFTs, and... * Much, much less The Rug's Newsletter is where you can catch them all in one spot, str8 to your inbox. Do [rug](https://paragraph.xyz/@therugnews/subscribe) a friend. * * * **The Rug Mirror Articles** =========================== **GOP Congressman Votes For Satoshi as Next Speaker Of The House** ------------------------------------------------------------------ [![](https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/192b48c76d46a2cba1a07e134eb8d5dc.png)](https://therug.mirror.xyz/x1u8gOEaO2PXPInHBpVpV9Pey5vnvsbyis-rzmHEe7Y) May I present the Speaker of the House, Satoshi Nakamoto. [In this article](https://therug.mirror.xyz/x1u8gOEaO2PXPInHBpVpV9Pey5vnvsbyis-rzmHEe7Y) by [Redemption Fox](https://twitter.com/RedemptionPhox), it turns out not everyone on both sides of the aisle is short-sighted, chasing short term approval rates and reelection cycles. _Democratic Congressmen collectively rolled their eyes at the vote before turning to each other and asking “Who is that?” and “Is that a QAnon thing?”._ [Collect](https://therug.mirror.xyz/x1u8gOEaO2PXPInHBpVpV9Pey5vnvsbyis-rzmHEe7Y) this evolutionary appointment as an NFT on optimism. **BREAKING — 2023: The Year It Will Stay Mostly Where It Is** ------------------------------------------------------------- [![](https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/3d4e055c4eb0723898321785ada755f1.png)](https://therug.mirror.xyz/Bhh4QsLnYea6epFORqzk1qKYNfMcigdzlp-K8s8ebk0) What better way to usher in a possible paint-dry year than a Top 10 list of innocuous resolutions? [In this article](https://therug.mirror.xyz/Bhh4QsLnYea6epFORqzk1qKYNfMcigdzlp-K8s8ebk0) by [Liquidiot](https://twitter.com/Liquidiot), we get a sense of just how far we haven't come. **_8\. Find out what "DAO" really stands for 7. DM Ethan Totenky_** [Collect](https://therug.mirror.xyz/Bhh4QsLnYea6epFORqzk1qKYNfMcigdzlp-K8s8ebk0) this inspiring ho-hum top ten list as an NFT on optimism. BREAKING — **PoW Miners Discovered in Lost Mine** ------------------------------------------------- [![](https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/9113a357c51793f0c1d5bb0d073c0e91.png)](https://therug.mirror.xyz/AB6ChqJse0p0f9eZlXVpF_M07pvqXaG9_1UAebG-DK8) Deep in the mountains of Colorado there is [a tribe of miners](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1613988350599532544) that has not given up on the PoW blockchain for Ethereum. [In this article](https://therug.mirror.xyz/AB6ChqJse0p0f9eZlXVpF_M07pvqXaG9_1UAebG-DK8) [](https://therug.mirror.xyz/eI1vloJ91zAzPYJ_o-8uy-z0kfb_FiO_Kbr7m4XUll4)by [Zero Mass](https://twitter.com/mass_zero), we discover anybody still tethered to the PoW blockchain must be living underground. _They were carrying around laptops and what looked to be large CPUs, first asking their rescuers about WiFi access instead of water or food._ [Collect](https://therug.mirror.xyz/AB6ChqJse0p0f9eZlXVpF_M07pvqXaG9_1UAebG-DK8) [](https://therug.mirror.xyz/AB6ChqJse0p0f9eZlXVpF_M07pvqXaG9_1UAebG-DK8)this lost tribe as an NFT on optimism. * * * The Rug Twitter Headlines ========================= ### MARKETS — Crypto Investors Looking Forward to Profitable 2024 This year crypto investor's are [super enthusiastic](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1610047381478809601) about 2024. [![User Avatar](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1459983921060335621/G7QEOxAZ_normal.jpg)](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [The Rug | Crypto News](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [@TheRugNews](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [![Twitter Logo](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/twitter/logo.png)](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1610047381478809601) MARKETS — Crypto Investors Looking Forward to Profitable 2024 ![](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FlgJjyaXkAAMD21.jpg) [![Like Icon](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/twitter/heart.png) 17](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1610047381478809601)[ 5:56 PM • Jan 2, 2023 ](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1610047381478809601) ### FEATURE — First-Cycler Knew Bitcoin Was a Scam All Along Wise and sagely first-cycler smirks to himself having known bitcoin was a scam all along. Run along tourist. We'll keep the brochures handy for you on the next bull run. [![User Avatar](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1459983921060335621/G7QEOxAZ_normal.jpg)](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [The Rug | Crypto News](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [@TheRugNews](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [![Twitter Logo](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/twitter/logo.png)](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1610665306275385344) FEATURE — First-Cycler Knew Bitcoin Was a Scam All Along ![](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Flo7jvqWIAwff-0.jpg) [![Like Icon](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/twitter/heart.png) 10](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1610665306275385344)[ 10:51 AM • Jan 4, 2023 ](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1610665306275385344) ### POLL — 78% of Americans Think "The Fed" is a Buffet Chain It's neither "federal" nor does it have any "reserves", but oh-my endless potato salad. [![User Avatar](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1459983921060335621/G7QEOxAZ_normal.jpg)](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [The Rug | Crypto News](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [@TheRugNews](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [![Twitter Logo](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/twitter/logo.png)](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1613644700094976000) POLL — 78% of Americans Think "The Fed" is a Buffet Chain ![](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FmTRQgaaUAAbAW8.jpg) [![Like Icon](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/twitter/heart.png) 12](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1613644700094976000)[ 4:10 PM • Jan 12, 2023 ](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1613644700094976000) ### NFT — Logan Paul Upgrades to Adobe Stock Premium for New Project Anything this dude does is cringe. That's a constant. Remember ethereum max? [![User Avatar](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1459983921060335621/G7QEOxAZ_normal.jpg)](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [The Rug | Crypto News](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [@TheRugNews](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [![Twitter Logo](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/twitter/logo.png)](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1613309898292617218) NFT — Logan Paul Upgrades to Adobe Stock Premium for New Project ![](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FmObK0oaEAAZpfs.png) [![Like Icon](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/twitter/heart.png) 5](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1613309898292617218)[ 6:00 PM • Jan 11, 2023 ](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1613309898292617218) ### ADVERTISING — Shaq Somehow Avoided Promoting Crypto Until Today Give it [up](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1612544948208812032) to Shaquille O'Neil, possibly the most heavily endorsed athlete of all time, - just google Shaq Ads - for staying out of crypto this long. The doge-brain has taken over the big man's skull, he's all in. [![User Avatar](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1459983921060335621/G7QEOxAZ_normal.jpg)](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [The Rug | Crypto News](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [@TheRugNews](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [![Twitter Logo](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/twitter/logo.png)](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1612544948208812032) ADVERTISING — Shaq Somehow Avoided Promoting Crypto Until Today ![](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FmDpFRDXkAAh0ku.jpg) [![Like Icon](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/twitter/heart.png) 18](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1612544948208812032)[ 3:20 PM • Jan 9, 2023 ](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1612544948208812032) ### BUSINESS — Genesis Changes Name to "Termination" After a feat of poor branding the almost insolvent Genesis laid off 30% of its staff and is probably going Chapter 11. That's not a novel, those are I-Don't-Owe-Yous. [![User Avatar](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1459983921060335621/G7QEOxAZ_normal.jpg)](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [The Rug | Crypto News](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [@TheRugNews](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [![Twitter Logo](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/twitter/logo.png)](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1611091088281853979) BUSINESS — Genesis Changes Name to "Termination" ![](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Flu-zgrWYAwRryj.jpg) [![Like Icon](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/twitter/heart.png) 8](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1611091088281853979)[ 3:03 PM • Jan 5, 2023 ](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1611091088281853979) ### TECH — Social Security Administration's NFT Project Not Going Well Apparently the digital collectible market across generations is slightly cooler than expected. [![User Avatar](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1459983921060335621/G7QEOxAZ_normal.jpg)](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [The Rug | Crypto News](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [@TheRugNews](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [![Twitter Logo](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/twitter/logo.png)](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1608576019962953728) TECH — Social Security Administration's NFT Project Not Going Well ![](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FlLHCLhaYAEXrnr.jpg) [![Like Icon](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/twitter/heart.png) 11](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1608576019962953728)[ 4:29 PM • Dec 29, 2022 ](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1608576019962953728) ### MILITARY — NORAD Volunteers Confirm Russian SAMs Shot at Santa Claus Purportedly in Retaliation for $45M Ukraine Aid Package Santa Clause almost got caught in the cross-hairs of geopolitical warfare. [![User Avatar](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1459983921060335621/G7QEOxAZ_normal.jpg)](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [The Rug | Crypto News](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [@TheRugNews](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews) [![Twitter Logo](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/twitter/logo.png)](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1607548835278032896) MILITARY — NORAD Volunteers Confirm Russian SAMs Shot at Santa Claus Purportedly in Retaliation for $45M Ukraine Aid Package ![](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Fk8pJROXgAA_UBk.jpg) [![Like Icon](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/twitter/heart.png) 11](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1607548835278032896)[ 8:28 PM • Dec 26, 2022 ](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1607548835278032896) * * * Under The Rug Podcast --------------------- ![](https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/b02a9873211c95d8a9628a78016ab215) * * * **Under The Rug** is a crypto-comedy podcast based on the hardest hitting headlines in Web3. In each episode a rotating cast of the comedians at The Rug get together to chop peanuts, craft jokes, and discuss things semi-crypto comedy related. Our eigth episode, "[Watermarked](https://anchor.fm/therugnews/episodes/Under-The-Rug--Ep--8-Watermarked-e1t4qut)", is now available. This eighth episode included Donald Trump NFT watermarks, H2O, high school football, Rugstradamus, parents not understanding, SBF's get out of jail free card, failed holiday crypto jokes, and much much less… * * * COMING SOON — The Rug Vol II. Issue 2 NFT ----------------------------------------- After [189](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews/status/1605996514261618688) wallet addresses [collected this NFT](https://therug.mirror.xyz/Y7Z9D7c6XhZwGIRmYv8YL2NPmk0UIRU6F7hNvomj5Y4) The Rug Vol. II Issue 1 we set our sights on the next edition. It will be available on mirror next week for a limited time only at .02 ETH. If you participated in the free mint you will get a notification in your email in January of 2023. * * * Calls to Action =============== * [Collect](https://therug.mirror.xyz) Rug Articles on Mirror * [Listen](https://anchor.fm/therugnews/episodes/Under-The-Rug--Ep--8-Watermarked-e1t4qut) to Episode 8 of Under The Rug * [Send](https://paragraph.xyz/@therugnews/subscribe) a buddy a link to subscribe * [Join](https://discord.gg/BwXtDCf3) our discord and come hang out in the lounge * * * **Bonus Content**: In case you missed it, [listen to Frank America's](https://podcast.quorummedia.xyz/frank-america/) appearance on the Quorum podcast. He goes through the process of creating a decentralized writers room and gives some background and context for comedy in crypto. [![](https://storage.googleapis.com/papyrus_images/b568732a6a0030212424be768cea9e95.png)](https://podcast.quorummedia.xyz/frank-america/) * * * **Sponsor**: Hit us up on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/TheRugNews). **Value for Value**: If you enjoy our NFTs, articles, headlines, podcasts, or newsletters share what that is worth to you in ETH to [TheRugNews.eth](https://etherscan.io/address/0xa4c7aca8d49226355c5543a28c3de0573f66494a) * * * ![](https://paragraph.xyz/editor/callout/information-icon.png) **The Rug is a media property spun up out of BanklessDAO.** --- *Originally published on [The Rug](https://therugnews.com/satoshi-voted-next-speaker-of-the-house-the-rug-newsletter-9)*